Humility + Gratitude = Happiness

A couple of years ago, through my personal scripture study, I was starting to notice a vague connection between humility and gratitude. I even remember mentioning it to my mom. The very next General Conference, there was a talk that addressed those topics together. I can actually see the place on the page in the Ensign, but do you think I can remember when (exact date) it was? Nope. The speaker said something to the effect of "Humility and gratitude are the twin pillars of happiness." I was stunned to see that my own study was leading me to this same end. Since that time, I have heard more about how humility and gratitude lead to happiness.

When I think back to happy feelings, invariably it is linked to either gratitude or humility, usually both. Maybe humility is what allows us to feel gratitude which opens the pathway to happiness. Maybe gratitude reminds us to be humble. I'm not talking about the last time I laughed. Laughter isn't always linked to happiness. It would be interesting to dissect that one.

I've had problems all my life feeling gratitude. I'm not sure why this is. Maybe I just didn't have a name for it when I felt it. Maybe it's a spiritual gift that I don't have and need to develop. Maybe I need to express it to feel it. Maybe I'm mixed up and I really need to look at humility first!

I remember one Thanksgiving day four or five years ago when I was coveting the feeling of gratitude. Why couldn't I feel it? I prayed to feel it. Then when I left the house and was alone for a few moments, it came. I was so grateful to feel grateful. This is still something I work on. It's still a missing element in my life. Whenever I see someone who is truly grateful, I'm just a little jealous (another thing to work on). I really think that idea of Oprah's (?) where you write down four or five gratitudes at the end of each day is super.

Humility. I have less of a grasp on this one, if that's possible. I remember once when I was recounting some of my trials to a friend and my consequent struggles. She pointed out that perhaps I was struggling with pride. Pride??!! That had never occurred to me, given what I was going through at the time. I have to admit that I was angry and brushed off her comment (hmmm, is that prideful?). Since that time, I look back and I'm sure that I did struggle with pride and have many days since then. Probably my most notable pride right now is when I become the "victim" around my kids. In other words, when I don't know what the heck I'm doing as a parent and I throw my hands in the air and wail (sometimes literally). Rather than standing in as the adult who is here to lead my children as best I can, I become the victim of their antics. This is not very effective. I'm not capable of describing how that qualifies as pride, but President Ezra Taft Benson can help you with that in "Beware of Pride."

A good example to me of humility, is a man I know. This man, a great intellectual, prepared a scripture to frame and display in his office.

2 Nephi 9:28

O the vainness, and the frailties, and the foolishness of men! When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not. And they shall perish.

I've heard this man refer to this scripture when there is risk of pride overtaking humility. He has it memorized. I can imagine him sitting in his office, reading that scripture, using it as a mantra in hard times. I'm on the lookout for my own.

I have a lot of work to do here. If all else fails, I'm told that smiling can actually help me feel happier. I tried it last night, when there wasn't really any reason to smile and it worked, though it was a fleeting feeling.