Memory Capture

If I want to capture all or part of my screen, I can use a program called SnagIt by TechSmith. I used this to grab the Google Earth images of our vacation. I really like the program. It has lots of options, but I won't pay $39.95 in a several days when my 30 day trial is up (Plus, my brother can probably tell me how to do this for free)! I wish it were as easy to capture memories.

Even if I carried my camera everywhere (which I know some people do), or if I had a notebook to jot down the things that happen as they happen, I would still miss things. It's not realistic to catch everything or keep it in memory. Besides, I'm not very good at stopping to take pictures (I'm usually the only parent in the room--every time--who forgets their camera). I'm also not very good at getting a journal out and writing.

Obviously this is on my mind a lot and my blog is getting a lot of overkill on the subject. It's just so intriguing to me! Going through all this stuff is getting to me; I've already said that. Also, Brigham is our last baby and he's turning two which in some ways is the end of babyhood. When I was in the middle of lots of little kids and not knowing when the end of it would be, I didn't stop and appreciate it so much. Now that I'm entering a new phase of life, I'm realizing that it's my last time to enjoy some of these little moments within my family.

Sometimes I walk around in peak awareness of the specialness of each moment. I haven't figured out which ones to record and which ones to leave, knowing that they will be there if I need them. Every so often I have remembrances from yesterdays gone by. Joseph and I share them together or we share them as a family and in a way they serve to bind the family together. They are here one moment and gone the next. Lately, I want to grab them and hold them down.

We are getting rid of all the little plastic animals and dinosaurs. When Nathan was three or four he used to play upstairs for hours setting these toys up in designs and in the end he'd tell me, "Mama, I'm making a birthday cake." At the time I thought it was cute, but mostly I was just glad he was up and playing and out of trouble while I attended to his two young siblings.

I'll sometimes get a glimpse of my little girl when she was sick and undiagnosed with asthma. I told her to bring her two blankets upstairs so we could use them for her nap. Diligent as she was she struggled to drag them upstairs and as I laid her down for her nap I noticed how labored her breathing was, her nostrils flaring. More air! Joseph took her to urgent care and the doc there said it would be faster for Joseph to transport her to the ER than to wait for the ambulance while she turned white, then blue, struggling for her life. In the days before cell phones were so prevalent, I waited in fear.

At times I remember the walk I took one spring day five or six years ago where I watched the ice churning and melting in the little lake next to our home. I learned a lesson about myself in that ice. It was amazing to me that I "happened" to be there to witness the miracle.

Occasionally I think of the one and only blue bird I've seen and wonder when I'll see another one!

I remember the day Elijah was born. I looked down at him, the very image of Nathan when he was born. It's humorous now, but I waited a whole month to get a glimpse of Elijah that was something other than what I remembered of Nathan when he was that age. Did I really have a different little baby in my arms? They were so alike.

On the drive to and from Florida I marveled at springtime in Georgia. It was like a mini-autumn. The leaves and blossoms were coming out in so many colors. I've never seen anything like it. Astoundingly beautiful. I made a mental note to try to remember it.

And on and on. Most of these memories aren't recorded anywhere. I'm trying to decide whether or not to use my blog to record these memories. It seems fitting to me because my blog is my family journal.

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A couple of fun things from the past few days:

In Primary on Sunday, the presidency did the spotlight as usual. Sariah was standing next to her new friend Brooke. Although they've been in class with each other for the first time, they seem to just have noticed each other ("Hi Sariah!" Brooke called. "Hi!" "Do you like my dress?" queried Brooke. All girl, isn't it?). I started to hear things in the spotlight that indicated Sariah. Finally, she stopped her chatting and started to take note of what they were saying, "This person likes Halloween best because they like candy." "This person likes to go to singing and storytime." And finally, "This person's birthday is on January 17th." Even from my seat in the row behind Sariah, I saw her head jolt out and a smile spread on her face. She went proudly to the front of the room to get her prize and then spent the rest of singing/sharing time glowing. Everytime I looked at her, she beamed.

Yesterday, we took cupcakes to Elijah's classroom. On the way out of the school, Brigham spied the buses waiting for the lines of kids to come. He started running, "Look, bus. Look, bus." (I want to look at the bus.) We went over and walked by the buses until he got his fill and then headed for the van.