Anything But Consistent

Another one of my character flaws has jumped from within the recesses of...well, I guess I had hidden it only from myself. Most everyone else is sure to know about it.

I was replying to an e-mail today. I got chatting with a friend about reading and decided to bore her with the history of my reading. (I forgot to mention the guilt that I carry around of being the only one of my siblings with whom my mom spent considerable time reading while my older sister was away at Kindergarten and before my younger sister was born). As it turns out, it was the typing of this droning monologue that captured my attention to my own inconsistency. I love to read, but I do it in spurts. I have a short memory for things like movies and books, so I have to move through them quickly or else I forget half of it and have to start over. Then I move on to some other hobby that fancies me for the moment. I don't have one underlying theme that I come back to all the time.

I'd like to say that hobbies are the only category that suffers in this way, but as I'm working to unfold the truth, I see this carries over into many areas. For instance, some months back I was patting myself on the back because over a period of about a week, I had consistently been involving at least one kid in the kitchen with me while cooking and baking. That fell by the wayside and I didn't even realize it. Today, May asked me if she could make her own (ahem!) Ramen noodles. That's the extent of any of my kids' cooking skills. I told her she could and still had to give her some pointers. She came into the living room sort-of smuggish and sat down to wait for her water to boil. I got up a few minutes later to a kitchen filled with natural gas! It seems she didn't have the technique down for turning on the gas stove top.

Discipline. There are times when I feel like I'm doing a good job and have a bag full of arsenal for the disobedient child. My favorite is to have two fighting children sit on the couch together until they are friends. My kids hate this because they want a definite time period. I pleasantly say, "Nope, stay until you are friends," while inside I'm snickering at the whole situation. I've got a list of these "nice" little consequences on my fridge. Time will go on and suddenly I'm jolted by the fact that I've been yelling to get their attention again. I'll read the list on the fridge and wonder who wrote them.

I heard it described before as "consistent at being inconsistent." Maybe it's the human plight. Maybe I'm unique? Finally, I've found my niche! I'm not really bothered by this new information about myself. I'm just not sure the knowledge is enough for change. Maybe I'll just push it back into the abyss...