Prayer

I'm a praying person. I guess you could say I always have been. It came from the example of my parents, I'm sure, and the fact that when we go to church we pray a lot there.

My mom made sure to tell me this story of my young self often because I believe she wanted me to "remember" even if I didn't have the pictures in my mind for what happened, cementing my faith from a young age.

When I was about three years old, we had a dog, a little white poodle named Ginger. One day she became lost and hours of search did not provide the relief of our doggie being safe at home. My mom said that I came to her and asked if we could pray. I actually do have a couple of pictures in my mind from that time. I remember kneeling at my bed to pray for the return of our dog. I remember seeing her sitting on the lawn of a neighbor from my car window as we headed out for another search.

I know that when I have suggested to my own children that they pray for help, it is a test of my own faith that is different than when I pray for myself. I remember once when Nathan was preschool age. There were three or four kids in a pre-school group. Each mom took turns holding "Play school" at her house. Once during my turn, the kids and I made bird feeders from half a grapefruit rind and a mixture of peanut butter and bird seed. We threaded these with string so that they could be hung out-of-doors. We hung ours on the post in our front yard. Nathan so wanted the birds to come and visit his feeder. I knew that I couldn't make the birds come and I wanted him to have the experience of seeing birds come. I suggested to him that we pray for the birds to find the feeder. I knew that this could be a formative experience for him and that created some anxiety for me. What would I tell him if birds never came to the feeder? My questioning and anxiety were part of the process. Nathan had the faith of a little child. I had a somewhat more skeptical faith, I think due to my anxiety. Day after day we prayed and day after day no birds came. I know that God is in the heavens and that not even a sparrow falls without his notice, but for some reason the birds were not coming. We had waited about seven days. As we were getting in the car to go somewhere, I noticed a bird darting to and then from the food and excitedly reported it to Nathan. It was the only bird, to our knowledge, that ever found that food. (As I sit here now, there's a black-capped Chickadee eating suet cake!)

I have not always been a consistent pray-er. There have been big gaps in my life where I haven't prayed at all unless I was in some kind of distress. Other times I've been more consistent but focused on myself and my immediate family in my prayers. There have been situations that have seemed so hard at the time that even though a part of me wanted to, I could not seem to pray for anyone but myself, my husband and my children. But, there have been wonderful times as I have striven to change this pattern that I have broken outside that seeming wall to pray for others.

Over the past few years, I have been crocheting afghans for people outside my household. As I crochet, it helps me remember the person I'm doing it for and I pray for that person and others who may come to mind. As I give the gift, I wonder if the person receiving can feel those prayers (as it is not something I have tended to mention).

A couple of months ago, I was stunned as a seventeen year old boy got up in church and talked about how he had taken the ward list (list of all those in the congregation) and prayed over each individual on the list. He promised us all great results if we would do this. Imagine that coming from a teenager. I have not done what this boy suggested, but in my experience of reaching outside of my own tight circle, I have seen good results in my life, mostly in the department of feeling thankful for the good life I have been given.

I believe every person is given one or more spiritual gifts. I have seen people that naturally reach outside themselves regularly. I am in awe of people who give in this way. I am not blessed with that gift (though I'd love to develop it). I do, however, have a lot of faith and I know without a doubt that God answers prayers. I don't ever remember a time in my life where there was silence from God unless it was me not opening the door to his knocking!

I have also been astounded by the response of others when I have requested prayer. This was a different experience for me when I first asked others to pray for a specific need I had. I grew up feeling like I should be self-sufficient, so it was really hard to put myself out there for others to see and then ask for something from them. But, what comfort it is to know that there are people thinking of me and praying for me. Some of these experiences are too sacred to share in this blog space.

At any rate, lately I've had some prayer requests. I've had stories passed on to me through other people's blogs and e-mails. I've watched movies that deal with poverty, political unrest and war. These things combined have started to break down this shell around me and as I remember these things I stop to pray. I feel change deep in my soul. As I sit still, I feel the gratitude and power of God moving in my life.

Never hesitate to ask me to pray for you for any reason, no matter how small. I welcome the request.

And now, if you have the chance, go to this blog and say a little prayer! Here is a little family in need of prayer. The baby was born 15 weeks early to a mom with cystic fibrosis awaiting a double lung transplant.