Dear Mr. Norton,

Since I'm now just counting down the seconds until I'm one day older and hopefully a few days richer, I can dedicate a few computer minutes to a letter to Mr. Norton:

Dear Mr. Norton,

I can't please you. I'll never be able to please you, so I'm writing to say that, "I GIVE UP!" I hope this doesn't make you any redder or more obnoxious, but that you will carve a place in your understanding code heart to put up with a human being who wishes to ignore you.

Each day I turn on my computer I have a whole slew of things I have to do before my computer can even function. This may be more Microsoft's fault than yours. I'll write Mr. Microsoft later to tell him that no deep discount will ever induce me to buy his terrible computers or computer copy-cats again. Having down-loaded maybe one too many free software packages has caused a few glitches. First I have to turn off my pop-up protect so that I can use blogger (a must!), then I have to open my 'windows task manager' and end a tiny little process that my internet searches tell me belong to you, Mr. Norton. BECAUSE IT'S SUCKING UP ABOUT 98% OF MY CPU USAGE!!!!

I really can't get much of my work done that way. And my work, you see, is changing the world. I'm downloading photos, editing them, writing blogs posts and e-mails, and doing internet shopping to redecorate my house. You can see how (at least my corner of) the world is becoming a better place bit by bit!

Then, because I turned a piece of you off, I see this annoying little red icon with a "!" in it. This tells me that you want my attention. But, no matter how much attention I give you. No matter how many times I let you search for new updates or scan my hard drive, you persist. I can't do this anymore. You will have to be patient and wait your turn.

I used to be the kind of girl who would listen to you every time. The larger left brained part of me HAD to listen to you. But, I've been expanding the right side of my brain and it now tells me that I don't have to listen to pesky little you. I can go on my merry way, glimpsing blue sky, smelling blossoms, and listening to birds chirping.

Please understand.

Sincerely,

Cindi