Dear Nathan, May, Elijah, Sariah and B,
This is a controversial topic to say the least. When I was religious, I couldn't imagine a world without religion (Think John Lennon here). According to General Authories at LDS General Conference, atheists are people whose thinking has gone wrong. The "so-called intellectuals" are people to stay far away from or at the very least proceed with caution. They are people who can in no way be happy. They are people who think logic prevails and they have left their hearts far behind. Now, I understand things differently.
I'm not calling for the end of religion, though there are people who do so. There are valuable aspects of religious communities. There are also dangerous aspects of religion, as seen in the 9/11 attacks. Other ultra-conservative religions do damage in communities and families also. For example, people who leave a religion can be shunned, which we have experienced to a small extent. Women, who are not even equal in the secular world, are even less equal in nearly all religions, and this is probably the greatest damage of all.
Below is a listing that outlines some of the reasons for religion. I have given brief descriptions and each of these topics would be great for a discussion.
Justice--How many times have you heard the phrase, "It's not fair!" That's right, plenty of things in this world are not fair. It's not fair that you were born in a middle class home in North America while another child is born into extreme poverty in and overpopulated city in India. It's not fair that you have been given optimal opportunities for education, while a poor, inner city child in Detriot without parent support falls farther and farther behind. It's not fair that we live in peace while atrocities occur in places like Darfur and Rowanda. It's not fair that we have the means and climate to avoid deadly diseases like malaria.
Religion, specifically God, is the great-equalizer. When man realized how unfair differing circumstances are, he began to look to God to one day make it right. In the ideal world, good will prevail. If it doesn't in certain circumstances, it will ultimately, say the religious.
This idea is probably the hardest thing for me to give up in my journey from being a Mormon, then "just" a Christian, finally to being an atheist.
Religion, specifically God, is the great-equalizer. When man realized how unfair differing circumstances are, he began to look to God to one day make it right. In the ideal world, good will prevail. If it doesn't in certain circumstances, it will ultimately, say the religious.
This idea is probably the hardest thing for me to give up in my journey from being a Mormon, then "just" a Christian, finally to being an atheist.
Morality--Where would we be without the ten commandments and the moral strength of other religious texts? Is it a piece of paper that keeps you from stealing, murdering, lying?
While I do believe that a lot of good moral code has been written in various religious scripture by wise people, I don't believe that religion is the source of morality. This is a topic I have studied in depth. I have read books, watched documentaries and watched TED talks. I have watched debates between religious people and atheists. At first, I was very skeptical that morality could have come from anywhere but religion. Now, as I see the studies that have been done in the animal kingdom, I'm more convinced than ever that as our bodies evolved, our morality evolved too.
While I do believe that a lot of good moral code has been written in various religious scripture by wise people, I don't believe that religion is the source of morality. This is a topic I have studied in depth. I have read books, watched documentaries and watched TED talks. I have watched debates between religious people and atheists. At first, I was very skeptical that morality could have come from anywhere but religion. Now, as I see the studies that have been done in the animal kingdom, I'm more convinced than ever that as our bodies evolved, our morality evolved too.
Meaning--Without religion, life is meaningless. I have met people who definitely feel this way. If we are just another species on earth, what meaning can we find? If we aren't children of God with an eternal destiny, how can there be any meaning? If we are going to die and that's it, isn't life hopeless?
I don't think so. Here are a couple of reasons why. First, have you ever said, "I'm bored," then had your clever mom find a job for you to do? Oops! Well, there is actually no reason to be bored. As I said in the post called "Be Amazing," figure out something you might be interested in learning or doing and I'll be right behind you. Life is amazing and beautiful. Sure there are down times, tired times, hard times, stressful times and more. But, find the good and seek it. There is meaning in things that make you smile, actions that make you feel love, beauty that touches you inside and out, hard work, etc.
Second, you can leave a legacy behind. You may think that so many amazing people have come before you that there isn't room for another. You may think that with world population soaring up and up that no one will even notice that you have been here. Well, I'm here to tell you that this is just not true. All five of you are incredible, each in your own ways. You have been given opportunity, room to grow, and you live in the land of plenty. Expand, learn, figure out what you can do to change the world and leave it a better place than it was when you were born.
Third, there are other people whose lives you will touch. You may want to have children some day. Children often mean grandchildren, great-grandchildren, etc. The way you live your life now and into the future affects the quality of life of those future generations. It affects it on the cellular level (remember the epigenome? If not, we will check out the documentary and watch it). It affects it on the emotional and physical level. Even if you never have children, there will be people you can mentor. There will be people you can serve. Humans evolved in communities. You will find meaning in communities, form strong connections and help others (think of the birding communities we belong to now).
I don't think so. Here are a couple of reasons why. First, have you ever said, "I'm bored," then had your clever mom find a job for you to do? Oops! Well, there is actually no reason to be bored. As I said in the post called "Be Amazing," figure out something you might be interested in learning or doing and I'll be right behind you. Life is amazing and beautiful. Sure there are down times, tired times, hard times, stressful times and more. But, find the good and seek it. There is meaning in things that make you smile, actions that make you feel love, beauty that touches you inside and out, hard work, etc.
Second, you can leave a legacy behind. You may think that so many amazing people have come before you that there isn't room for another. You may think that with world population soaring up and up that no one will even notice that you have been here. Well, I'm here to tell you that this is just not true. All five of you are incredible, each in your own ways. You have been given opportunity, room to grow, and you live in the land of plenty. Expand, learn, figure out what you can do to change the world and leave it a better place than it was when you were born.
Third, there are other people whose lives you will touch. You may want to have children some day. Children often mean grandchildren, great-grandchildren, etc. The way you live your life now and into the future affects the quality of life of those future generations. It affects it on the cellular level (remember the epigenome? If not, we will check out the documentary and watch it). It affects it on the emotional and physical level. Even if you never have children, there will be people you can mentor. There will be people you can serve. Humans evolved in communities. You will find meaning in communities, form strong connections and help others (think of the birding communities we belong to now).
Community--I have already touched on this idea within the topic "Meaning." People need community. Communities help to fill our needs. When we are part of a community, we can rely on others strengths where we might have a weakness. Churches are often good examples of this.
A church can be a ready-made community. One of the strengths of the LDS church is that wards are set up like one another. If you move from city to city or state to state, you are likely to find similar organization. If you need help unloading your moving van, the Elder's Quorum will usually come. People will give a helping hand and reach out in friendship.
If you should choose to attend a church, you may find a close knit community that will answer your needs. If you do not choose church, you will need to be in charge of forming your community. Right now your communities are varied and rather loose due to the amount of time you have spent in them. Your communities include choir, Jr. Audubon, Young Birders, Fenner Nature Center, your band and orchestra programs, your friendships, and of course, your FAMILY.
A church can be a ready-made community. One of the strengths of the LDS church is that wards are set up like one another. If you move from city to city or state to state, you are likely to find similar organization. If you need help unloading your moving van, the Elder's Quorum will usually come. People will give a helping hand and reach out in friendship.
If you should choose to attend a church, you may find a close knit community that will answer your needs. If you do not choose church, you will need to be in charge of forming your community. Right now your communities are varied and rather loose due to the amount of time you have spent in them. Your communities include choir, Jr. Audubon, Young Birders, Fenner Nature Center, your band and orchestra programs, your friendships, and of course, your FAMILY.
Family Identity--If you were born in India, there is a high likelihood that you would be a Hindu. If you had been born in Saudi Arabia, it is likely that you would be Muslim. If you were born in certain places in Europe or the Americas, you could have been born Catholic. Since your parents were born in Utah, they had a good chance of being Mormon. Many of these different people from around the world have strong feelings about their own religion. Many of them believe that their religion is the one correct religion. Imagine my surprise when walking with a Catholic friend of mine about a year ago, she said, "We (meaning Catholics) have the one True Church." How many times had I heard that about my own religion? Before that time, I hardly realized that other people could truly feel that way about their own religion and with as much conviction as I once had.
Not only do people feel that way, down to the core, but often, their whole family feels that way. It's one way people feel bonded to their families. In the LDS church, people believe that they can be sealed to their families for eternity. The religion defines the bond and the requirements for the bond to be "honored" by God. In my experience, this created a cycle of guilt, rather than drawing me closer to my family.
After thinking about the above points, the best advice I have is to use the best, most functional church communities for models in how to organize for charitable purposes, how to work together to support one another, and how to band together in times of crisis (using many people's strengths for one great whole).
Look for people and communities where there are good boundaries. For example, healthy boundaries allow people to do community service when they are able, rather than expecting it. Healthy communities are very grateful for the help that people provide. Healthy people don't expect you to disclose the details of your life. When you are comfortable sharing, they will listen. They will also respect your privacy and not share your information with others. In healthy situations, people build trusting relationships, rather than assuming that everyone in the community is safe. It's o.k. to take precautions until you have a trusting relationship with another person, or group of people.
Though there are strong points in healthy church communities, I suggest looking elsewhere when building your moral code. Religion is filled with contradiction both in terms of the texts and in terms of the hypocrisy of the leadership (not all churches fall into this problem, I hope). If you have specific questions about the hypocrisy I'm talking about, let's chat about it! It's up to you to build your communities and seek for meaning in life. I am here to help you do these things!
Love,
Mom
P.S. Just to clarify, I don't say, "I know that there is not a God." It is very difficult to prove a negative. For instance, can you prove that there is not a teapot in orbit around the earth? Instead, I say, "I do not believe that there is a God. Evidence for God is lacking. There may be a God who is very different from the God I was taught about growing up and beyond. There may be an afterlife. I suspend judgement on these ideas as far as knowledge is concerned."
Not only do people feel that way, down to the core, but often, their whole family feels that way. It's one way people feel bonded to their families. In the LDS church, people believe that they can be sealed to their families for eternity. The religion defines the bond and the requirements for the bond to be "honored" by God. In my experience, this created a cycle of guilt, rather than drawing me closer to my family.
After thinking about the above points, the best advice I have is to use the best, most functional church communities for models in how to organize for charitable purposes, how to work together to support one another, and how to band together in times of crisis (using many people's strengths for one great whole).
Look for people and communities where there are good boundaries. For example, healthy boundaries allow people to do community service when they are able, rather than expecting it. Healthy communities are very grateful for the help that people provide. Healthy people don't expect you to disclose the details of your life. When you are comfortable sharing, they will listen. They will also respect your privacy and not share your information with others. In healthy situations, people build trusting relationships, rather than assuming that everyone in the community is safe. It's o.k. to take precautions until you have a trusting relationship with another person, or group of people.
Though there are strong points in healthy church communities, I suggest looking elsewhere when building your moral code. Religion is filled with contradiction both in terms of the texts and in terms of the hypocrisy of the leadership (not all churches fall into this problem, I hope). If you have specific questions about the hypocrisy I'm talking about, let's chat about it! It's up to you to build your communities and seek for meaning in life. I am here to help you do these things!
Love,
Mom
P.S. Just to clarify, I don't say, "I know that there is not a God." It is very difficult to prove a negative. For instance, can you prove that there is not a teapot in orbit around the earth? Instead, I say, "I do not believe that there is a God. Evidence for God is lacking. There may be a God who is very different from the God I was taught about growing up and beyond. There may be an afterlife. I suspend judgement on these ideas as far as knowledge is concerned."
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